What? Your Happy Thoughts/Memories can also be Unhelpful?
Fusion with happy experiences is just as unhelpful as fusion with difficult ones.
Cognitive Fusion- getting caught up in your thoughts- is a term from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Let’s talk about a sneaky way we get fused that leads to mental suffering.
Here we go!
Fusion Causes Problems in Our Lives
Cognitive Fusion is like being stuck on a thought or experience. You are attached to the thought. You are thinking about it over and over. You are stuck on a feeling. You are caught up by a mental experience and going along for the wild ride.
Fusion is a tough thing to describe because it is an experience and it probably feels different from person to person. But, we do know that it is not helpful. Our minds send us unhelpful thoughts all the time. Constantly, like almost all day. Fusion is getting caught up with them. Like being swept away by a powerful river.
Cognitive Defusion then is keeping your feet firmly planted on the river’s edge, observing the water flowing over the rocks. Watching the thoughts pass by from the safety of the shore. Defusion is stepping back. Out of the stream of the thoughts in order to view it differently. When you have planted your feet on firm, dry ground you have reached what we call self-as-context.
One of the tricky things with Fusion though is this: Even fusion with our happy, awesome, amazing, joyful thoughts and memories can cause problems.
Fusion to memories we love and want more of can lead to unhelpful comparisons. Comparisons that take you out of the moment. Blocking your ability to be mindful and nonjudgmental and accepting of the present moment.
Let me give you an example.
I love going for walks with my dogs. It is something I do in pursuit of my value of vitality. It helps me relax my mind and energize my body. Oftentimes I use walking to help me brainstorm about the blog post I am going to write as well. Last week though, I caught myself not enjoying my normal walk. I wasn’t enjoying it because I was fused with a memory. I kept thinking about my walk from two days earlier that was very enjoyable.
I caught myself comparing my current walk to that previous walk. Two days earlier my walk was so pleasant and refreshing. My brain was feeling good. My body felt phenomenal. And, best of all I was having bursts of creative thoughts. But, on this day, I seemed to be lacking that creative burst and I was irritable.
I was fused. And my mind was taken for an unhelpful ride. I started thinking walking was dumb. I started doubting my ability to write a blog post. I had a burst of negative thoughts to say the least.
Until, I used my defusion skills. Instead of trying to recreate the same feeling of the previous walk. I was able to let go of my evaluations and judgments to simply enjoy this current walk as it is. Not trying to make it into something that it wasn’t. In short, I was able to more deeply embody the moment. I was able to drop into flow by defusing and getting a new perspective on my current unhelpful thoughts.
Self-as-context + defusion + mindfulness + values + acceptance + committed action = psychological flexibility.
I was no longer bound by comparing this experience to that previous experience. Yes, it may have been a peak experience, but I have grown and improved and changed since that walk. Even if it was just 48 hours ago.
Being fused to the previous happy experience becomes problematic.
The previous peak experience, in and of itself, changes us. Being fused to it only leads to comparison. Comparing your current experience to that previous peak experience will pull you out of flow. Or block flow totally. Because you are unable to drop into the deep now. Judging and evaluating block flow because they keep your analytical mind turned on. And, that is the part of the brain we are trying to turn the volume down on in flow.
This means allowing the current moment to unfold, nonjudgmentally, and with acceptance and willingness to allow it to be what it will be. Not trying to alter it to resemble a previous peak experience.
Doing things from a values perspective looks similar from the outside, but the inside is better. Doing things in the service of our values allows us to be deeply mindful. We aren't evaluating our experience or comparing it. We are just living it out no matter what it brings because we know we are moving in a valued direction.
Don’t let your happy memories or previous peak experiences lead to unhelpful evaluations of your current experience. Fusion is unhelpful with both enjoyable and difficult thoughts/ memories.
Step back (defuse) from those evaluative/ comparing thoughts to help you truly be mindful in the present moment with a flavor of acceptance and openness. You’ll find it much more enjoyable in the long run!
