The Alter Ego Effect: Crafting a New Perspective
Engineering an Alter Ego to Speed up Change and Growth!
Feeling stuck? Can’t seem to make lasting changes? Then check out this technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) called “the alter ego”.
Here we go!
Perspective Taking to Activate Your Alter Ego
Change isn’t easy. One reason change and growth can be made even harder is because our mind gets in the way. In th change process our mind sometimes sends us unhelpful thoughts. And, those thoughts bog down our change process. Giving us that stuck in the mud feeling.
To move through the change process more efficiently, take advantage of the mental skill called “perspective taking”.
Perspective taking is a really cool ability the human mind has. Meaning, we can use introspection and metacognition. Also stated as, we have the ability to think about our thinking. That is a very cool “superpower” to have. You are increasing your psychological flexibility when you practice perspective taking. And, as a bonus! Practicing perspective taking also improves our skill of empathy. With empathy improving, we begin to better understand someone else’s experience and perceptions.
Perspective taking links to the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) core process called Self-As-Context. It’s a rather abstract concept so for the sake of this post I will side step giving a full definition of self-as-context. For our purposes, we can think of self-as-context as the ability to step back into the observing self. The part of you that watches all the things happening in the moment. For a deeper definition of Self-As-Context click on the resource videos below!
Once you have mindfully stepped into the observer self, you can then reinsert yourself into the moment with a new perspective. I think Todd Herman came up with a really cool technique for achieving this. He calls it the Alter Ego Effect.
The alter ego effect can speed up change and growth.
Todd shared a great example of the alter ego effect when discussing current singer, Halsey. He mentioned that Halsey, real name Ashley, created an alter ego because she believed “boring, normal Ashley could never go after the big dream of being a famous singer”. So, she scrambled the letters of her name and created Halsey as an extension of her self. An alter ego. Halsey is able to accomplish things that Ashley was too afraid to even try. In essence, Halsey responds to things a little differently than Ashley, but is still guided by her values. Tons of people have improved their lives by tapping into the alter ego effect.
We can harness the power of psychological flexibility by using an Alter Ego.
Let’s start from the beginning.
First, spend some time thinking about an area of your life that you are underperforming in. It might be work, school, sports, parenting, marriage, etc. Second, begin to piece together an alter ego that helps you be the best you can be in that area. Third, once your alter ego is formed you can give it a name. Fourth, connect it with a ritual to help activate this ability to use perspective taking that is guided by your values in that moment.
Find an area of growth in your life
Craft an alter ego by combining traits from other people/things you admire in that area.
Name your alter ego
Create an activation ritual
Todd shares that his alter ego for being at home includes some qualities of Mr. Rogers. He identified that Mr. Rogers traits are something he wants to copy. Therefore, he incorporated that into his alter ego for parenting. Doing this can help you react calmly in difficult situations and respond wisely in the moment, just like Mr. Rogers would. You can also incorporate different qualities of other people into your alter ego. Creating sort of a “composite hero” with a collection of great qualities from multiple people bundled up into one. These qualities can also come from fictional characters, animals, etc. Don’t limit your imagination to only living humans.
This alter ego, this new extension of your “self”, is then your ticket to more efficient change.
Todd also is a big supporter of rituals. Rituals help us activate our alter egos. A ritual goes deeper than a habit. This helps the brain and body attach more meaning to it. That also helps us change faster and more efficiently.
Here is an example of a ritual. Let’s say I want to improve my ability to be a dad. I would craft a “composite hero” with traits that I admire from other dads I see (real or fictional). Then, to more easily activate this alter ego, I would use the ritual of putting on my dad hat. That trigger, or ritual, is helping signal to the rest of my mind and body that it is time to become more than Drew. It is time to become “Super Dad” (name still pending). This allows me to more easily act like the type of dad that I truly want to be. It helps me rise above my anxiety or irritability or fatigue.
So, take some time to craft an alter ego for your area of growth/ change. Then, set up a ritual to activate that alter ego. And, enjoy the process of growing and improving! The journey of growth should be challenging and fun! It really helps to bring a sense of curiosity to this process as well!
Till next time,
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